How to expand influence? After reading "Influence", you can gain influence

Our generation will definitely see the decline of power and money, both of those things, and the rise of personal influence.

Historically, the relationship between the three has rotated.

1. Stage XNUMX: With power comes money and influence;
2. Stage XNUMX: With money comes power and influence;
3. The third stage: In the future, only those who have influence will have money and power.

This process is actually very easy to understand.

• What can effectively organize large-scale human collaboration?
• What are the cornerstones of this era?
• If the Great Wall is to be built, only Qin Shi Huang's right can do it.
• In the age of money, you can only build factories with capitalist money.
• In the future, as long as your influence can effectively persuade strangers to participate, the collaboration you initiate will have it all.

So we read Influence by American author Robert Cialdini, which is a very good book.The author is the world's most renowned institution for persuasion and influence research, and has been working on persuasion and obedience for many years.This book is very worth learning.In this book, renowned psychologist Dr. Robert Ziardini explains why some people are so persuasive, while we are always easily deceived.

The 6 psychological secrets behind the urge to obey others are at the root of all of this, and those masters of persuasion always use them skillfully to bring us into submission.

Summary of "Influence" after reading

6 Strategies for Influencing, supplemented by many case explanations (although some cases are a bit old), the overall is very clear.

in addition,Under each influence strategy, the authors also provide "How not to be influenced by it"(reject)method", As for whether the method is real and effective, it is a matter of opinion.

How to expand and enhance influence?

The following is the essence of the whole book to share:

1. reciprocity
2. Commitment
3. social proof
4. Like
5. authority
6. scarcity

01 Reciprocity

principle: The sense of debt repayment brought by reciprocity will make us repay others as much as possible after accepting the benefits given by others (In our common saying, it is "to take people's hands and eat people's mouths."）

realistic background: Members of the society are assimilated to the concepts of "reciprocity" and "repaying gratitude". In order to avoid the ridicule and sanctions of the society, everyone is not willing to violate these principles (there is no obvious sanctions in the current society, but there are often ridicules, after all It's a question that you can't get over with your own face).

related case :

1. Unsuspecting soldiers in World War I gave food from their hands to the enemy and escaped
2. Supermarkets set up a free trial section for customers, making it easier to complete Amway (of course, some people just try and don’t buy)
3. Haier staff overhauled the washing machine, offered to do free water quality testing by the way, and peddled water purifiers

How to refuse?

Avoid triggering the principle of reciprocity: reject the requester's initial goodwill and concessions (for example, if you don't like a girl, you should decisively reject the other person's individual invitation at first to avoid misunderstandings and feelings of indebtedness caused by the principle of reciprocity)

When you realize that the other party is trying, ignore it; otherwise, you might as well accept it (in reality, there are some scam routines that lend you money first, and then borrow money from you frequently, but many people still fall into these traps)

02 Commitment is the same

principle: We all have a desire to walk the talk, and once we make a choice or take a position, we are under internal and external pressure to do what we promise to do

realistic background: People who walk the talk make a good impression and are in the best interests of members of society

related case:

1. Use written or public commitments to change bad habits, such as weight loss or smoking cessation plans (typically setting up a flag in a circle of friends, of course, there are also many cases of being beaten in the face)
2. Toy stores advertise before the festival to make parents make promises to their children; stop sales during the festival and replace them with other toys; sell the advertised toys after the festival, and parents will still buy them for their children

How to refuse?

Obey the response of the body organs (these are written in the book, "When you feel cheated, the stomach will send an uncomfortable signal!", I don't really believe it)

If you go back in time, do you make the same choice.

03 Social Proof

principle: We act on the opinions of others when judging what is right

realistic background: The existence of social proof saves us from thinking hard about the rightness and pros and cons of each decision

related case :

1. None of the 38 citizens who witnessed the homicide reported to the police. The reason was that everyone present thought that others might have called the police. They calmly observed the people around them and sought social evidence.
2. When there is a traffic jam, the cars in front will change lanes, and the cars behind will follow suit

How to refuse?

Be vigilant in the face of clearly falsified social evidence

In the face of misleading social identity, observe more before making judgments (many times, we are coerced into action by the group, unless you are not in the group in the first place, so that you have the opportunity to get a global perspective)

04 Likes

principle: Inducing goodwill from various preferences will make us naturally obey

How it works:

• Appearance charm: People with good looks have more social advantages, are more convincing, and are easier to get help
• Similarity: We like people who are similar to us and tend to agree to requests from people who are similar to us.Salespeople can facilitate deals by "imitation and pandering" to customers' physical gestures, tone of voice, style of expression, etc.
• compliment: We always react positively to compliments, whether the compliment is true or not
• Conditioned reflex: People have the inherent idea that those who are close to the red are red and those who are close to the ink are black, and conditioning plays a key role in it.

related case:

The most typical is the various actions of the fan circle, and preferences play a big role in it.

How to refuse?

Focus on what to do and don't get too involved in personal likes and dislikes.

The goodwill brought by liking cannot always be recognized and strictly guarded against. The best way is to let nature take its course, until the goodwill brought by liking exceeds the appropriate normal level, and the defense mechanism must be awakened and focus on the effect. rather than the cause.

05 Authority

principle: From birth society teaches us to obey authority

related case:

Typical as well-known in recent yearspersonThe endorsement of the financial management APP is thundering, and everyone will pay for it because they believe in these so-called "authorities";

There are also nurses who dare not question the wrong doctor;

There is also the high-scoring drama "Chernobyl", which restores the Chernobyl incident by stripping the cocoon, allowing us to seeimperfect systemAndblind faith in authorityis a key factor in this tragedy.

How to refuse?

Be more alert to authority and ask yourself questions:

• Is this authority a true expert?Is its authoritative qualification relevant to the subject at hand? (For example, star characters & wealth management products, are the two themes related? Think more before making a decision, you are responsible for yourself)
• Is this expert telling the truth?Do experts benefit from our obedience?

06 Scarcity

principle: The rarer the opportunity, the higher the value seems to be (this is actually the major premise of economics, resources are scarce)

how it works :

• Things are rare: The fear of losing something is more motivating than the desire to acquire the same item.If flaws can make a thing scarce, garbage can also become treasure.
• Reverse psychology: Whenever something is harder to get than it used to be and our freedom to have it is limited, the more we want it.The desire to preserve vested interests is at the heart of rebellion. (Isn't there a lyric not sung like this before, "What you can't get is always in a commotion, and the one who is favored is always fearless")

related case:

Typical cases such as promotions with the words "limited time limit" and shortage of masks during the outbreak

How to refuse?

Listen to your inner warning signs

Put the question on why you need it (of course, many times people are not so sane and will not wait until the pros and cons are fully analyzed before entering the market).

Mind map of the book "Influence"

Finally, attach the mind map of the "Influence" book ▼

There are many situations in this book that make the above point, and I hope you feel it for yourself.

I believe that after reading this book, you will be able to do two things:

1. First, you don't say "yes" when your real intention is to say "no";
2. Second, make yourself more influential than ever.